
It has been almost 7 weeks since my Granny's passing. I have always loved her for the reasons nothing can describe. To be honest, there are times that I found my granny quite irritating though the reason for that is because she loves us and wants us to be safe.
Since she has gone to a better place, I am not really sad. She has always been in pain for the past 3 years. Each step of her final 3 years brings her a lot of pain. She had weak legs and always needs help to get around. On the final year, each step she told me was like a nail pushing through her knee.
Even with this reason she always wanted to be in the living room where the whole family is. But on the final few months she couldn't be with us in the living room. reason being it was really hard to get up the flight of stairs to the living room. I could see she was sad and all she could do was to fall asleep due to her dialysis problems.
The reason I was not really sad of her passing was because she was no longer in pain. In a much better place with my grandpa up in heaven.
I sent granny to the hospital the day after she had a minor heart attack. I was called home by my Kak Tini cause granny sat on the floor the day before. I didn't know she had a minor heart attack. I thought granny was still being childish and seeking attention. But I was wrong, I am sorry granny I didn't know and still forced you about. *slaps self 3 times*
Let's say something of my granny. Things that I would always remember her for:
When I was in Standard 2, I was really sick and my mom still sent me to school in my bus. Half way through I told the bus driver I wasn't going to school cause I was not feeling well. When I went home my granny greeted me cause she was in the garden doing gardening. She took me to the kitchen broke up the panadol into tiny bits and fed me with it with some Ribena (my fav drink as a kid). Then I went out to the garden to help granny with the garden a little though I was sick.
Mom came home and was mad to see me home instead of being in school. Mom went to the kitchen and took a cane. I hid behind my granny and granny shielded me from mommy's welding "sword of discipline". Granny took all the shots for me. Thanks granny!
Then there was the time when I first had my first computer which was the 486 and I had the 56k Dail-Up internet. I was not allowed on the computer except for Saturday and Sunday. Mom gave the duty to my grandpa and grandma for making sure I don't use the computer. The computer was placed upstairs.
I told my brother to give me signals when grandma was coming up from the kitchen. When my brother gave the signal, grandma said, "Hmmm, giving signal to your brother ah?" That was me being busted for it.
During that was the time granny slept in the same room with my brother and I. Grandma would usually be in the room telling us story of the war times, how she met grandpa and most of the times it was moral values. Grandma would always request for the air con to be on and she gets up to switch it off around 3 in the morning when she gets up and puts a blanket over my brother and I.
Oh yeah, grandma would have a way to know if my brother and I showered already or not. Back when I was around 6 years old, I was always lazy to shower after I was in the porch playing with my neighbour (cause I already showered before that). Then I would have as they say "hong mok" basically my skin would turn red and itch would be all over my body. So when I said I already showered, she would ask me to come over and touch my hand. Then busted. I was pushed in to the shower.
I outsmarted granny by standing near the fan to cool down. Gotcha Granny! Not that I don't shower now alright. Thanks to granny I shower after sports or after heavy sweating
Final years of Granny being around me, I had my projects from college and spend long hours at night working on it. Granny would be pastering me to go to sleep. But I wouldn't want to. So I usually go to her and give her a kiss on her forehead and she would be on her way to sleep.
I usually come back from work/dates/college/loitering and go to the room and kiss my granny on her forehead and she likes it.
I was really glad during this years Chinese New Year, I didn't go off on holiday with my parents to Vietnam. Cause I get to celebrate my granny's final Chinese New Year with her. She was sleepy as usually but she was happy that we were all around. Get to played BlackJack with granny too.
Talking about that BlackJack game. If she knows she is on the winning side, she will slowly pushing in bets secretly on the table. But when she loses she would say NO! I only bet 20 cents though there were 60 cents on the betting spot. Hahaha.. That brought a lot of cheers to us during then.
What touched me the most about granny was her smile. I always wanted granny to smile during the time she was in pain. So I would be kidding with her telling jokes be a clown in front of her. A brief moment to take all her pain away.
Granny, I didn't had much tears during the wake cause I want to be strong for everyone in the family. In my heart, Ah Ma I miss you a lot. I only cried after you were laying next to grandpa. The time I was holding on to your picture makes me feel I was still hugging you each time I come home. Feeling I was already home and with you smiling at me. I miss that each time I come home.
Your in a better place now. I am sorry granny I won't be able to follow the family to "kan bong" (don't know the English term which means bring the decesed back to have a chat). Because I already know you have been through enough pain to be with the family. How you have fought death several times over before you fully gave way? Your so strong but once your rested I want granny to rest cause you have fought for the family for over 80 years.
I Miss You Dearly Grandma. I Love You, Ah Ma. Thank You Ah Ma for all the great childhood I woke up to and all the love you have given to me.

Granny with my Uncle and My Dad during Chinese New Year.

During A Dinner before Granny Was Really ill.

Granny Watching Over Us For Our Jade Emporer Birthday Prayers.
Ah Ma, I know You Would Be Watching Over Us From Heaven.